The First and Last Girl I ever Kissed
by ishika-malfoy
Summary: Lee Jordan is in love with a certain girl who doesn't return his adore, or does she? Disclaimer: any referances to HP are JKR's, only the plot is mine!


Hi Yes I know I should probably be working on Ever After and My Best friend's Girl Friend - but this was a story I used for a competition on www.checkmated.com and I thought that maybe people would like it on FF.net. Thank you for taking the time to read my story, I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it - if that is possible  
  
The First and Last Girl I Ever Kissed.  
By Karri-Granger  
  
~*~  
  
I still don't know why I even bothered to come to this stupid New Years Eve party my dear cousin, Angelina, decided to have. Everyone seems to have brought a date of some sort, everyone but me that is. It's not like I hadn't wanted to, it just seems like the girl I've been hopelessly in love with since I was eleven years old is in love with another. What's so special about him? So what if he's a Ravenclaw? You wouldn't expect it, me being part of the Prankster Trio along with Fred and George Weasley, but I was in the top three of my class - my parents say it's because I'm a fast learner and that I'm naturally smart - I feel it's because I schedule myself. However no-one sees that all they see is Lee Jordan one of the three pranksters, I suppose that's what she sees as well. He has a whole fan club surrounding him and girls just waiting for him to notice them. Well people find me funny, I guess it's not the same since it's never been rumored that anyone ever had a crush on me. I guess I'm more of the laugh at while he's funny and forget when the hottie walks by. So what if he's one of Hogwarts' best looking guy, when they did the top five cutest guys in Gryffindor in my fifth year - I was on the list right under Harry Potter, Fred and George Weasley and Oliver Wood.I mean I know I'm not the best looking guy - but I'm not entirely ugly either, actually I think I'm a little cute. Not like it matters to her though. So what if he's on the Quidditch Captain? I'm commentator and have been since my first year, I'm just better at public speaking more than tossing the quaffle around - I do enjoy flying though. He's only been captain since his fifth year.  
  
I've tried so many times to get her attention, to tell her how I feel but no matter what it never seems to work, I always end up saying something completely different then what I had planned to. I don't have the confidence of Fred or being able to charm people like George. I just have me, nothing really special but me. It's been a year and half since I last saw her at our graduation - sure Angelina has invited her over for tea but I've always tried make myself unavailable - I have run into her once or twice, but I haven't really talked to her. It's seems whenever we meet she's always with him. I saw her in Diagon Alley just the other day coming out of Flourish and Blots, with him; he had his arm around her wait oh so casually, they looked like the perfect couple. However doesn't she realize he's just a player? When the Tri Wizard tournament was on - he was making out with Fleur Delacour from Beauxbatons at the Yule Ball. The whole of our seventh year he tried to get a date with Cho Chang and when he couldn't he just went out with some other Ravenclaw girl who's name I can't remember. He's just using her so that he can be in the news paper and magazines and stuff, so that he can be called "World's Best Chaser's Boyfriend"! That's all he wants! It is her birthday today, strange really that of all days Angelina chose to have a party on one of her two best friend's birthdays. Of course, even though this wasn't a birthday party, I'd brought a gift for my love; it wasn't anything special really - it was just the quaffle they used in her first match where she scored the first goal. Actually I'd stolen it - well not really I had to beg Madam Hooch to allow me to have it, she had only given it to me because I had promised I would polish all the school quidditch trophies for the year and make sure all the quidditch equipment was kept clean after ever match or training session . I'd also written a message to her on it and had gotten the whole team of that year to sign it. I really hoped she liked it, I had been saving it for the right time to give it to her but I never had found the moment and now the war was upon us and I was leaving for battle the next day - I realized their may not be an opportunity, this may be the very last time I see her. You see after Hogwarts I'd trained hard and had become a professional dueler at the same time working my way through wizard medical school. I'm now a medi-wizard at St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries; I've also joined Professor Dumbledore's Order of the Phoenix. I have been asked to go to war and help those in need of aid because of my medical and dueling capabilities. When I was a kid I used always wonder what my purpose was in life and was always wondering how I could make a difference. Today I realize what my purpose is - I have to go to war and help those who are injured, I have to fight for the good of all man kind. I will go and help those who are in need of my help, I will go and fight against Voldemort and I will succeed in helping defeat the darkest wizard of the age. Even if it means never seeing the ones I love again, even if it means giving my life up for the greater good, I will do it! I have the power to make a difference in this world!  
  
As I look around I see many happy couples, my friends the people I love are all around me. I can Fred and Angelina doing some sort of weird styled tango, and I laugh like I haven't for a while, everyone as per normal is trying to keep out of their way. I see Percy Weasley and Penelope Clearwater doing a normal dance in a far corner of the dance floor - trying to keep out of attention, and I smile in away I haven't for ages, Percy wasn't one to seek attention, maybe power, but not attention. George and Alicia and also dancing but not as outrageously as Fred and Angelina, and I feel happy like I haven't been in days. I see many Hogwarts seventh and six years at the dance, it seems a lot of them have decided to come home for the holiday. I guess many of the boys will be leaving for war in a month or so and would like to see their families before they have to go. I can see Seamus Finnegan along with Lavender Brown, Dean Thomas with Parvati Patil, Terry Boot and Padma Patil, Ginny and Draco Malfoy (who'd joined our side last year, but that's a different story.) there were many more couples, like Neville Longbottom and Luna Lovegod - but I'm sure the people you wonder about most is the Gryffindor dream team well as the whole of Gryffindor was sure of Ron and Hermione are together and Harry well he got together with Cho Chang in the middle of his sixth year and they have been together happily since but both of those couples have their own stories and maybe they'll tell it to you one day.  
  
It seems like the one couple I had been dreading to see ever since I accepted my invitation hasn't turned up, but just as I thought this my heart suddenly started to swell and I turned my head towards the entrance and I see her. She looks magnificent her long wavy brownish blonde hair coming down just past her shoulder blades, her sea bluish green eyes shining brightly, her dress bringing out the color of them even more. If was a modest of the shoulders stretch nit dress, it came just a little below her knees and hand another layer of lace which came from underneath of lace, the same lace was used across from one shoulder to the other for her sleeves. The stretch nit part of her dress was an aqua blue sort of color and the lace was more of a greenie jade color, she was beautiful. The only sad thing was that she was hanging of the arm of Roger Davis, yes Katie Bell on of the smartest girls I know I was stupid enough to hang of the arm of that all time player Roger Davis! I walked across the room to great her, it seemed no-one had noticed her enter yet, that is no-one but me. I reached her and stopped in front of her, se looked up at me and squealed in excitement, "Lee, oh it's been so long! Where have you been? Oh you don't look a bit different." and she threw her arms around my neck and gave me hug, even though I'd been anticipated this moment for weeks now the excitement and her swinging around my neck startled me but I managed to put my hands around her waist, I knew my heart was beating a mile a minute, but I managed to choke out, "Hello to you too Katie." She then let go of me and grab my hand and lead me to one of the many small tables that had been situated around the dance floor and said sternly, "Now Mr. Jordan I haven't heard a thing about you, besides the fact your one of the best duelers in a all of Europe what else has been going on with your life?" I looked at her startled by her sudden interest in my life, maybe she did feel the same way I did about her or maybe she was just trying to be polite.anyway I replied, "Well firstly Happy Birthday, Ms Belle, already nineteen and rocking the Quidditch world." She looked at me and smiled and my heart started to do summersaults - she took her time but she finally said, "Thank you, Lee; I can't believe you remember my birthday! I can't even remember yours -" at this point my heart felt like a tiny bit of it had just been torn away, but I tried to hide the saddened look on my face and continued to listen to what she had to say, "I do know that it's some time in June. Is it the sixteenth?" I looked at her thinking whether I should let her believe it's on the sixteenth so that she wouldn't feel bad - but something told me I should correct her, she'd hurt me, she should feel just a little sorry at least. So I corrected her, "It's the thirteenth actually - if u want to remember it just think half of six is twelve, and if u reverse the numbers of thirty- one you get thirteen." "Hey, isn't that one of the ways Professor Trelawney said you could find your sole mate with, half of the month, and reverse the day. Yeah it was. But we couldn't be sole mates - besides all that division is nonsense." Katie said after a minute. Secretly I disagreed with Katie - division is nonsense, but the thing about the sole mate I do truly believe but I decided to just go with the flow and lie to her, "Yeah it is." I agreed, at the same time knowing it was a lie. For the first time I noticed that Roger wasn't with us, instead the snake was of flirting with Fleur Delacour - well soon to be Weasley - and Bill Weasley wasn't looking too thrilled at all. Then when he realized that the soon to be Mrs. Bill Weasley wasn't at all interested be moved on to Cho Chang who was rather embarrassed and very soon dragged away by a very jealous Harry. What kind of person is he, he has the most wonderful woman in the world and he's after women who already were taken. Katie turned to me to see what I was looking at and was about to say something when Angelina and Alicia both ran up to her and took her away to catch up.  
  
The night went by swiftly; very soon it had gone from six to eleven-thirty. I had enjoyed my evening catching up with numerous people from Hogwarts. It seemed the only other three other people at the party without dates were Oliver Wood (who wife was visiting her mother in California), Angelina's and my younger Crystal Johnson, who attends Beauxbatons Academy in France - where her boyfriend is and Tonks (she came single tonight because Remus had to stay at home because it's the full moon tonight. It's a good thing that we've nearly got the potion to cure a werewolf - all we have to do is test it on a real wolf, I'm hoping we'll have the cure by April so that it can be birthday gift to Remus)  
  
I decided that I'm not going to hold my nerves of anymore I'm going to tell Katie how I feel once and for all, I can't allow myself to go to war without letting her know how I truly feel about her. I look at my watch and see it's ten minutes 'till midnight, I search with my eyes for her on the dance floor, I see her seated to the side at one of the tables, I then search the floor for Roger I see him with some other girl laughing and chatting away. I decide the coast is clear - I walk briskly over to Katie and ask her to dance with me, she agrees and we head over to the dance floor. As I put arms around her the band begins to play a slow song, as I listen to the first notes I realize it's a muggle song I'm quite familiar with and I begin to think the words in my head and realize that most of this song is what I feel for Katie.  
  
'In my life' There are places I remember, All my life, Though some have changed, Some forever, not for better, Some have gone, and some remain,  
  
"This is a nice song, is has a rather catchy tune." Katie said as I spun her around. "Yeah, it's an old muggle song back from the sixties." I replied with a bit of pride that I had taken muggle studies back at school. I slowly started to sing the words as they were played.  
  
All these places have their moments, With lovers and friends, I still recall. Some are dead and some are living, In my life.  
  
I love them all.  
  
"Wow, Lee, you have a great voice!" Katie whispered. "Thanks, Katie." I whispered back - it's a pity really that she thinks I'm just singing and that the words don't mean anything, but they do.  
  
But of all these friends and lovers, There is no-one compares with you, And these memories lose their meaning, When I think of love, as something new.  
  
"You remember the last time we danced together?" Katie asked, do I ever. "Yeah it was at the Yule ball remember that was also on your birthday, we went together as friends, and it was nice."  
  
Though I know I'll never ever lose affection, For people and things that went before, (Though) I know I'll often stop to think about them, In my life.  
  
I love you more. x3  
  
As the final notes of the song played I walked away from the dance floor taking Katie with me, I lead her to the balcony I had been standing on at the beginning of the party. I reached into my pocket and took out the quaffle I'd charmed so it would be feather light and pocket size; I undid my charms and handed the quaffle to her. You could see the signatures of Oliver Wood, Fred and George Weasley, Angelina Johnson, Alicia Spinet and Charlie Weasley glowing bright on the leather ball; my own message was also glowing just a tiny bit as well. "Lee what is this?" Katie asked questioningly. I pondered on how to word my answer for a moment before replying with a tiny bit of pride, "It's the quaffle that was used in your first match, where you scored the first goal, against Hufflepuff, I got it for you and got the rest of the Gryffindor team to sign it. There's also a message from me on it there. I was waiting for the right time to give it to you. And I thought - well not you're a major quidditch star, this might be worth some sentimental value to you." She looked at me for a moment and then she swung her arms around me and said, "This is the finest birthday gift I've received my, whole life! How did you get this? Madam Hooch would never give away a quaffle to anyone!" "I'm a man of many mysteries, Ms. Bell, and I have my ways." I smiled, my nerves were starting to build up, but I continued, "Listen, Katie, there's something I need to tell you." I glanced down at my watch, it was a few minutes to twelve, "Ever since we were kids, I mean ever since I met you, um..there's always been something about you. You've always been so different from all the other girl, what I'm trying to say is.well the day after tomorrow I'll be leaving for war. You see I became a doctor after Hogwarts and Dumbledore has asked me to go to the battle field and help those who are injured. I realize this is going to come as a shock to you, but I couldn't leave without you knowing, Katie I -." I was interrupted by people screaming. "10, 9, 8." As the counting was going I decided there was only one was to tell Katie how I felt, "3, 2, 1!" As most people shouted happy New Year I leant down and kissed Katie, the kiss was full of passion and the love I felt for her, at first she didn't kiss me back but then she finally kisses me back, wrapping her arms around me at the same time. We kissed for a few moments but finally let go of each other, as we did this I said shakily, "I love you Katie Bell." She looked at me saddened by what I had said; she looked down at the ground, quite interested in a bit of champagne someone must have spilt earlier. Finally she spoke, "I'm sorry Lee - but you're too late. I used to have a crush on you but I gave up in our fifth year, you used to always flirt with me before but you never made a move - I thought you were leading me on. Then I met Roger -." "That, playboy! You think you're in love with him? Katie, he's the one leading you on. How much time have you guys spent together, tonight? Don't think I haven't noticed-." I pretty much was yelling by now - but no-one inside seemed to be noticing us, where was that Roger anyway? Katie had interrupted me with an angry voice of her own, "Don't you dare talk about Roger that way Lee Jordan! Let me finish what I have to say! He taught me how to fall in love and he has showed me the happiness no-one has ever shown me before. He asked me to marry him, and I said yes! I love him and we are getting married and if you can't handle that then you rather not stay as one of my friends. We're going to get married in the summer - it's going to be a beautiful wedding at the world cup stadium! I'll send you an invitation, good bye Lee." As she said each one of those words my heart felt like it was being ripped to shreds, but I can't help but feel that when she was talking about her wedding she was trying to convince herself rather than me. As I watched her walk away another muggle song began to play and I wondered if this song meant anything to Katie? I recognized this song it was by a famous muggle band called Roxette and the song was called "Listen to your Heart."  
Listen To Your Heart I know there's something in the wake of your smile. I get a notion from the look in your eyes, yea. You've built a love but that love falls apart. Your little piece of heaven turns too dark.  
  
Listen to your heart when he's calling for you.  
  
Listen to your heart there's nothing else you can do.  
  
I don't know where you're going and I don't know why,  
  
but listen to your heart before you tell him goodbye.  
  
Sometimes you wonder if this fight is worthwhile.  
  
The precious moments are all lost in the tide, yea.  
  
They're swept away and nothing is what is seems,  
  
the feeling of belonging to your dreams.  
  
Listen to your heart when he's calling for you.  
  
Listen to your heart there's nothing else you can do.  
  
I don't know where you're going and I don't know why,  
  
but listen to your heart before you tell him goodbye.  
  
And there are voices that want to be heard.  
  
So much to mention but you can't find the words.  
  
The scent of magic,  
  
the beauty that's been when love was wilder than the wind.  
  
when he's calling for you.  
  
Listen to your heart there's nothing else you can do.  
  
I don't know where you're going and I don't know why,  
  
but listen to your heart before you tell him goodbye.  
  
Listen to your heart, take a list to.  
  
As I heard the last notes of the song I looked across the ball room and I saw Katie talking to her two best friends; Alicia and Angelina, she looked up and her eyes met mine - it looked like the words of the song had no impact on her. I nodded and then I walked out of the party into another room at my aunt and uncles mansion I decided disapparate to my apartment in Hogsmead.  
  
The next day was spent making sure I had all the relevant potions to take with me to battle I also checked I had all the needed supplies I would need for myself and other doctors equipment. I checked that my pet Golden Snidget, Smidge, was in good health. I had noticed that Snidgets could be quite loyal companions once they had gained your trust, Smidge has been a loyal friend since Hogwarts - you see one of the times Fred, George and I had sneaked into the Forbidden Forest I had rescued her from being caught in a spider web and she had been loyal to be ever since. I had first been reluctant to take her with me to the war but then I decided that she would be company and if I had to get a letter home she wouldn't be spotted like a regular owl would be.  
  
Two Months Later:  
  
I had been at war for two months and so far I'd killed thirty Death Eaters and saved many lives, I still think of Katie everyday but if she's happy then I can live with that. The night we kissed I realized after she was the first girl I'd ever kissed she'd probably be the last too. The Hogwarts seventh year boys had arrived, the rumor has it that Draco Malfoy, Ron Weasley and Harry Potter are very close to getting to Voldemort and that this war should be over soon with our side having the victory. It seems that the Death Eaters realize this too and are trying to get to the hospital camps to kill our reinforcements and those of us doctors who are able to fight. It looks like about a dozen or so of them have just gotten through I protection charm! I don't think I'm going to be so lucky this time I grab my wand and remind myself that I am doing this for the greater good, but before I leave I gave Smidge a stack of letters and told her who to get them too. I walked out of the tent I had called home for the last two months, I stunned the first, three Death Eater I saw, as I did this I heard something move behind me. Before I could turn around to see what was be hind me I heard a voice yell "Avada Kedavra!" I saw the flash of green light and felt the rush of sudden, instant death. I sat and watched as my body just lay there on the dirty ground - there was no blood on my body, just a look of pain on my face. I looked around and saw all the other doctors who had become my friends continue to fight when the last Death Eater was killed they all came and surrounded me, one of them knelt down and felt my pulse, of course they felt none, the same doctor, Dr. Anderson I think it was, and another doctor who happen to be one of the Weasley's cousin help lift me up onto stretcher. The doctors once again crowded around me and then they began to speak, "He was a fine young lad." One of them said, another said, "He may have been young but he was on of the best doctors I've ever seen!" they all mumbled their agreements and then a very young doctor whose name was Michael said, "He was the bravest of us all; his Gryffindor bravery was always showing." I remember this guy, he was in training with me - he was one of my friends before Hogwarts as well but then he was put in Ravenclaw and with all the rivalry between the houses our friendship turned more into two associates. He looked up and for a moment I was sure he could see me.but we were distracted because of a sudden rumble in the earth and somewhere around the middle of the battle field it seemed like a bomb had been dropped because all this red light seemed to becoming from the ground. We were all still and waiting and then there was a shout of "Victory!" At first I wasn't sure of who had won, but then I saw people from our side running towards up screaming with joy with smiles on their faces. We had won; I had died for the greater good.  
  
One Week Later:  
  
I watched all my friends, all my family, associates, doctors from the hospital and war, members of the Order of Phoenix and people who knew me at Hogwarts come to my funeral, among all these saddened faces I saw one face that I will always remember Katie's face. I watched as she paid her condolences to my family and I watched how she sat and listened through out my whole funeral. I watched as they lowered my coffin in my grave I watched as they charmed the grass to grow back on the place they had buried me I watched as everyone walked away, that is everyone but Katie. She walked up to my tomb stone and put a solitary red rose down next to my tomb stone. She had tears in her eyes as she spoke quietly, "Why didn't I ever tell you how I felt Lee, we could have been happy together. Why was I blinded by Roger's foolish charms? Why is it we humans are so blinded by wealth and good looks? Why is it we humans only realize what we had once it's gone? I love you Lee Jordan." See her so sad I wished I could comfort her but I can't. I decided I shall go and stay at Hogwarts; it'll be nice to live there. I can be in the place I spent the happiest days of my life in. You see I am the ghost of Lee Jordan and this was my story.  
  
And I was right; Katie Bell was "the first and last girl I ever kissed."  
  
~*~  
  
I hope you enjoyed my story and thank you for reading it! Please review and tell what you think when you get a chance. Once again thank you for reading "The First and Last Girl I ever Kissed."  
  
Karri-Granger 


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